When the scantily-clad native woman latched herself onto Rodney's arm and said, "You look delicious," Rodney cast John a smug look, and John just rolled his eyes.

"There's no accounting for taste," he said, resisting the urge to say it in Latin because Rodney always got pissy when John pointed out that he'd gone to nicer schools as a kid.

"Clearly these people have superior taste," Rodney said, and John resigned himself to endless smugness until the next time an alien woman hit on him.

Ronon and Teyla exchanged looks of patience and longsuffering, and then they followed the scantily-clad woman as she tugged Rodney toward her village.

Three minutes later, while John, Teyla, and Ronon were locked in cages and poor Rodney was divested of his clothing so the village cooks could get a look at the choicest cuts, John figured this was some kind of terrible instant karma for Rodney's smugness.

"Sheppard," Rodney said, swatting people's hands away as they tried to unfasten his belt, "little help!"

"Sorry," John drawled. "In a cage, being too skinny and un-delicious."

"Yes, okay, fine, I should've known a woman who looked like her being attracted to me was too good to be true. Doesn't mean I deserve to get eaten!" Rodney swatted more hands away from him.

"John," Teyla said.

He sighed. "Okay, fine, Operation Rescue Rodney is a go." And he drew his pistol, shot one of the men trying to disrobe Rodney.

Poor primitive locals had never seen firearms before.

After the first shot, the locals backed off. After another demonstrative gunshot, John convinced another of the locals to come unlock his cage and the others' cages. Then John marched across the clearing and grabbed Rodney, tugged him close.

"Sorry to break up this party," John said, "but he's ours."

"Yes," Rodney said firmly, "ours. I mean, theirs. Definitely theirs."

John leaned in and nibbled on Rodney's throat. "You're right, though. He's pretty delicious. Ronon, Teyla, let's head for the gate and flag this address in the database."

Teyla obligingly scooped up Rodney's tac vest, which the natives had removed from him, and they headed for the gate at a fairly leisurely stroll while the natives wept and wailed over their injured (not dead, because John wasn't a monster).

"You can let go of me now," Rodney said.

John glanced at him sidelong. "Nah, don't think I will. Wanna find out just how delicious you are."

Teyla dialed up the gate, and John towed Rodney through the event horizon.

"I promise," John said, as he pressed Rodney up against the wall in his quarters, "that me finding you delicious isn't too good to be true."